Fire, Mud, and the Circle You Keep

You can’t change the people around you.
But you can change the people around you.

Sit with that for a moment.

Because if you really let it sink in, it hits harder than you expect.

It’s not about judging people…, it’s about alignment.
Who you stand beside determines how you think, how you show up, and how you move through the world.

And when that energy changes…, you feel it.
In your gut.
In your peace.
In the quality of your days.

Over the past year, I’ve thought a lot about the circles we build…, and the ones we outgrow.
And this weekend, I was reminded of exactly why that choice matters.

After the Super

In July, I ran the Spartan Super…, one of the toughest courses in America.
I finished, but it didn’t feel like finishing.

I crossed the line on empty legs but a full mind…, knowing it wasn’t how I wanted to feel when I finished.
I’d done enough to say I finished… but not enough to be proud.

As we caught our breath, one of my buddies turned to me and said,

“That’s it. I’m retired.”

He meant it.
He’d done these before…, the Sprint, the Super, the Beast…, years ago.
He’d earned his rest.

I didn’t try to talk him out of it.

But a week later, that unfinished feeling was still sitting in my chest.
So I sent a message:

“I’m signing up for the Beast.”

A minute later came the reply:

“I hate you.”

Then another:

“I’m in.”

And just like that…, the circle was back.

The Circle That Shrinks

When life’s good, your circle feels big.
Everyone’s around.

But when it gets quiet…, when you’re wrestling with something real…, that circle shrinks fast.

I used to see that as loss.
Now I see it as clarity.

The shrinking reveals the truth.
Who’s there to celebrate you…
and who’s there to strengthen you.

It’s easy to mistake the crowd for connection.
But the real ones?
They don’t fade when the spotlight does.
They stay when things get muddy…, literally and figuratively.

Those are your people.
Protect them.

The Work You Can’t Skip

Based on my Super time, the Beast was expected to take me close to ten hours.
It took me four hours and fifty-three minutes.

But the time wasn’t the story.
The transformation was.

I trained differently.
With focus.
With respect for the process.
With a commitment to do the work no one would see.

That’s how life works too.
You get what you earn.
Every hard-won thing starts with a knockdown.
The setback always shows up first…, to ask how bad you want the comeback.

And this time, I answered differently.

Small Reminders

The Friday before the race, my phone buzzed with a message:

“I’m texting you thinking… it’s amazing that I crossed paths with you!!”

It stopped me for a second.
Out of nowhere…, a simple reminder…, some people just see you.

If someone like that just came to mind for you, don’t overthink it.
Pause here.
Send the text.
Not later…, now.
Then come back and finish the article. 😉

Fire and Finish

The last hundred yards hurt.
My ankle was swollen.
My body was fading.

But I didn’t limp.
I sprinted. WE sprinted!

Through the mud.
Through the fire.
Through every reason to slow down.

And as I leapt that final flame, I yelled…, from the gut.

Not because I beat the course.
But because I didn’t let the course beat me.

And right beside me…, those same two guys who once said they were done.
We crossed together.
Trifecta finishers.
Earned, not given.

The Lesson

You can’t change the people around you.
But you can change the people around you.

You can’t make people believe in you.
But you can build your life around those who already do.

The right circle doesn’t just stand beside you when it’s easy.
They lace up when it’s hard.
They run when you’re tired.
They remind you who you are when you forget.
And sometimes, they text “I hate you”…, right before showing up anyway.

That’s the circle worth keeping.
That’s the climb worth making.
And that’s the kind of fire worth jumping through…, together.

🔥 If this one hit you, share it with someone in your circle who makes you better.
And if you’re not subscribed to FireStarter yet… what the heck are you waiting for? 😉

P.S. If these articles have brought you any kind of value, perspective, or spark…just wait for the book!! Join the waitlist and be part of what’s coming next 👉 Leadership At The Dinner Table.

With Absolute Sincerity,

Ed Clementi
Founder & CEO of Inspired Fire, LLC

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