Beyond Sticks and Stones

The Pain That Doesn’t Touch the Skin

Author

Ed Clementi
December 01, 2025

We all grew up hearing the same line:

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

It sounded strong.
It sounded empowering.
It sounded like something we should believe.

But the older you get, the more you realize:

Some of the deepest hurt you’ve ever felt
never touched your body at all.

It came through a sentence.
A tone.
A careless moment someone else forgot the second it happened.

We pretend we outgrow this.
We don’t.
We just get quieter about the places that still sting.

The Moments That Stay

Every person reading this can name a moment, a few seconds long, that stayed far longer than it should have.

A parent snapping on a tired day.
A teacher embarrassing you in front of a room.
A boss making a comment they’ll never remember.
A friend’s joke hitting a bruise you didn’t know was still there.

And somehow…
you carried it.

Not because you’re sensitive.
Not because you’re weak.

But because words land in places
other people can’t see.

That’s what the old saying gets wrong.
Completely wrong.

For Some, It Goes Much Deeper

Last year, in an article titled
One Year, 52 Articles: Unveiling My Secret Struggle
I wrote about living with OCD for over three decades.

I bring that up for one reason:

Some people don’t just remember words…
they relive them.

A sentence can loop.
A tone can echo.
A comment meant as nothing can turn into a story
their mind repeats for days… or longer.

And you may never know who those people are.

You work with them.
You live with them.
You lead them.
You love them.

From the outside?
Completely fine.

Inside?
Those same words might land differently.
Deeper.
Heavier.
Quieter.

This isn’t about guilt.
This is about awareness.

The Responsibility We Each Carry

If words can cut that deeply,
then what does that mean for us?

For how we speak?
For how we listen?
For how we lead in our homes, in our relationships, in our workplaces, and in our own moments of pressure?

It means we leave something behind every time we open our mouth.

A tone.
A sentence.
A moment someone might remember more clearly than we ever will.

People won’t remember your instructions.
They won’t remember most of your advice.
They won’t remember the details of your meetings or conversations.

But they will remember
how your words made them feel.

Especially now…
when the world feels heavy
and everyone is carrying something.

If We Want to Be Better, Start Here

We can’t control every word.
We’re human.
We get tired.
We get impatient.
We have our own scars too.

But we can be more aware.

Here are a few simple places to start:

1. Slow down when you’re frustrated.

Hurry causes more damage than intention ever will.

2. Don’t joke about someone’s insecurities.

You never know which ones are still bleeding.

3. When in doubt, choose kindness.

It never ages badly.

4. Own it quickly when you slip.

A sincere apology can heal far more than pride can.

5. Speak to people the way you hope they remember you.

Because they will.

A Holiday Reminder

Bones heal.
Bruises fade.
Scrapes disappear.

But words?

Words settle.
Words echo.
Words stay.
Sometimes for a lifetime.

And as we step into the holidays…
a time filled with love, pressure, memories, joy, tension, and everything in between…
maybe we remember this:

What we say matters.
More than we think.
More than we know.
More than we’ll ever see.

So, if there’s someone you’ve been meaning to lift,
to appreciate,
to soften with a sentence…

Say it.

You have no idea
how much it might heal, how much it might matter.

Maya Angelou said it best:
“People will forget what you said, forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”

And she was right.
Because sticks and stones may break bones…
but our words?
They’re the part people carry.

With Absolute Sincerity,

Ed Clementi
Founder & CEO of Inspired Fire, LLC

Make an Impact and Feel an Impact!