Before You Say Yes

The Mindset That Changes Everything

Author

Ed Clementi
February 02, 2026

In partnership with

This is the 99th time I’ve sat down to write one of these.

No countdown clock.
No victory lap.
Just a familiar moment…, coffee nearby, screen open, thinking about what actually hit me that week.

When you do anything this consistently, patterns start to show themselves.

Not trends.
Patterns.

And lately, one has been impossible to ignore…, in conversations, coaching sessions, and rooms where important decisions are being made.

It usually shows up when someone is on the verge of being chosen.

After The Interview

Someone reaches out after an interview and says some version of this:

“I think it went okay… I just hope they liked me.”
“I really need this job.”
“I don’t want to mess this up.”

And I know exactly what’s happening.

They’re walking in as a hopeful choice.

Hoping to be picked.
Hoping to be seen.
Hoping this person across the table recognizes their value.

That mindset changes everything…, and not in a good way.

The Cost of Hoping to Be Chosen

When you show up hoping to be selected:

You over-explain.
You soften the edges.
You ignore the little signals that don’t sit right.

You notice the red flags…
but tell yourself you’re overthinking.

You leave the room relieved instead of clear.

And sometimes you do get chosen.

That’s when the real cost shows up.

Weeks later.
Months later.
Sometimes years later.

That quiet thought you can’t shake:

“I knew this from the beginning.”

I’ve seen it too many times.

Long, messy, uncomfortable situations don’t usually start with a bad decision.
They start with a compromised one.

And the price is always the same.

Time.
Health.
Self-trust.

The Shift That Changes the Dynamic

There’s a different way to show up.

I call it the Mindset of Mutual Selection.

It sounds simple, but it’s profound.

“I hope they see the value I bring.”
And
“I hope I like them too.”

“I hope this opportunity works out.”
And
“I’m paying attention to whether this actually fits my values.”

The moment that balance shows up, the entire dynamic changes.

You’re no longer auditioning.
You’re evaluating.

Not arrogantly.
Not defensively.

Consciously.

What Changes When You Make This Shift

Everything.

Your energy steadies.
Your confidence rises…, not because you’re performing, but because you’re grounded.

You ask better questions.
You listen differently.
You’re willing to be honest…, even vulnerable, because you’re not trying to win approval.

You don’t rush past discomfort.
You sit with it.

You stop confusing interest with alignment.

And something subtle but powerful happens:

You start showing up like a peer instead of a petitioner.

That’s leadership.

This Isn’t About Interviews

Interviews just expose the truth.

This mindset shows up everywhere.

In relationships you stay in too long.
In roles you accept because you’re afraid to say no.
In rooms where you shrink instead of stand.

When you live as a hopeful choice, you hand your power away.

When you live as a conscious choice, you take responsibility for where…, and with whom, you invest your life.

That’s not selfish.

That’s mature.

Leaders Choose

Here’s something I believe deeply:

Life is always selecting.
But leaders choose.

They choose environments that challenge them without breaking them.
They choose people who align with their values.
They choose situations that honor both ambition and health.

And when they get it wrong…, because we all do,
they don’t ignore the signal next time.

They learn.

Where This Is Heading

Over the past few weeks, I’ve started building out my YouTube channel for one reason:

To take these ideas…, leadership, careers, clarity, confidence, self-belief…
and slow them down.

To explain them.
To make them practical.
To give people something they can actually use.

This week, I dropped a couple of long-form episodes that go much deeper on interviews specifically…,
how to prepare, how to show up, and how to stop giving your power away in the room.

But whether it’s an interview, a relationship, or a life decision, the principle is the same.

The real shift happens when you stop waiting to be chosen
and start choosing…, deliberately.

And next week…

I’ll be sitting down to write this for the 100th time.

Honestly…, I can’t believe it.

See you at #100.

With Absolute Sincerity,

Ed Clementi
Founder & CEO of Inspired Fire, LLC

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