Almost Chosen

Over the past few weeks, I’ve had a lot of familiar conversations.

Some with former colleagues who finally got the call.
Relief. Pride. Excitement.
Years of work… validated in a moment.

Others with people who didn’t.
Another year gone by.
Another explanation.
Another quiet recalibration of expectations.

It made me think…, this is a moment worth talking about.

Not just promotions.
But what they mean.
And what they don’t.

If You Got the Promotion

First…, congratulations.
Truly.

Sit with it for a moment.

Celebrate it with the people who stood beside you.
Let yourself feel the appreciation.
The recognition.
The validation that your hard work mattered.

This moment deserves space.

But if you’re being honest, there’s a second feeling that often follows the initial high.

Pressure.

I remember it vividly.
Every single time I was promoted, including the final one, the first thought wasn’t celebration.

It was:

Now I have to prove this was the right decision.

I knew I deserved it.
I had the results.
The respect.
The receipts.

And still…
There was a quiet urgency to make it stick.
To leave no room for doubt.
Especially coming from someone who started as an executive assistant.

That pressure is real.

When that pressure mounts, remember…, you didn’t arrive here by chance.
You earned it, long before the title caught up.

If You Didn’t Get It

This is the harder conversation.

Of course, reflection matters.
Awareness matters.
Ownership matters.

There is always something to sharpen, strengthen, or elevate.

But there’s a line people rarely talk about.

The line between:
“I need to grow”
and
“They may never truly see me here.”

That line matters.

When feedback stays vague year after year.
When development conversations stall.
When “we need you” never turns into “we believe in you.”

That’s not a motivation issue.
That’s a signal.

And the danger is what happens next.

Good people don’t usually leave out of anger.
They leave after spending too long being…
almost chosen.

When It Gets Confusing

Here’s where things quietly start to break.

It starts with loyalists who are taken for granted.

The people who stay.
The ones who keep delivering.
The ones who get told, “You’re critical,” “We can’t lose you,” “Your time will come.”

And when the title doesn’t come, the organization finds another lever.

Money.

A raise.
A bonus.
A retention number just high enough to make leaving uncomfortable.

On paper, it looks like appreciation.
But over time, it creates something else entirely.

A gap between being needed and being believed in.

Because being paid to stay is not the same as being chosen to grow.
And people feel that difference deeply.

Then there’s the next layer…, the more corrosive one.

When promotion decisions stop making sense.

When you look around and ask yourself:

• What standard was actually applied here?

• What behavior was rewarded?

• What signal is leadership really sending?

Sometimes people aren’t just disappointed.
They’re confused.

And confusion is dangerous.

Because when leaders promote the wrong people…, openly, visibly, repeatedly…, it doesn’t just elevate risk at the top.

It answers the questions people have already been asking themselves.

It tells them what actually matters here.
What really gets rewarded.
And where they truly stand.

The right people don’t respond with outrage.
They don’t make noise.
They don’t storm out.

They get clear.

They stop assuming belief will eventually arrive.
They stop explaining away what no longer makes sense.
They stop arguing with what they’re seeing.

And that’s the leadership risk no one names.

Not the loss of people overnight…
but the slow realization, among your most capable ones,
that they are valued enough to keep…
but not enough to choose.

And over time, that realization erodes trust.
Loyalty thins.
Engagement fades into indifference.

The Cost of Almost

This is the moment for clarity…, not emotion.

Ask yourself:

• Do the promotions around me make sense?

• Are certain people simply playing the game better?

• Or am I being given explanations that never turn into outcomes?

Sometimes the answer is internal.
And owning that path is powerful.

Sometimes the answer is environmental.
And pretending otherwise costs years.

Neither answer is easy.
Both require honesty.

Almost valued.
Almost trusted.
Almost promoted.
Almost fulfilled.

“Almost” is expensive.

It drains confidence slowly.
It numbs ambition quietly.
It convinces capable people to shrink instead of decide.

There comes a point when reflection turns into clarity.

And clarity demands a choice.

Not to quit recklessly.
Not to blame loudly.

But to stop living in the space of Almost Chosen.

With Absolute Sincerity,

Ed Clementi
Founder & CEO of Inspired Fire, LLC

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